Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
