We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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