It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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