Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
