Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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