He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
