Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
