...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
