Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
