i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
