this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
