Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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