That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
