her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
