As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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