4 words: hood of his car
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Edward fifth and chaser hands
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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