i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
