you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
