Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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