During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
