please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize
