My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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