I just saw a hot homeless man
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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