i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
