i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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