Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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