I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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