: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we're making bets on your personal life
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
