Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
