Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
