Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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