Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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