nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
