As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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