Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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