Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize