I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize