Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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