evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
