that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he fucked my hip out of place.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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