I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
