Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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