ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
