Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
