you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
