I CAN MOONWALK!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
