in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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