Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
