There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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