I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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