My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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