I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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